Comments on: Living with thanatophobia

By: Kim

Kim — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 01:52:49 +0000

“Sad News
Due to the untimely death of Jack Pickard TPis is no longer trading. A loving husband, father and friend Jack will be missed by all who knew him.”

My heart goes out to Jack,s family.
I am so very shocked and sorry. What a dreadful irony that Jack started this blog and has now gone through our greatest fear.

By: Kim

Kim — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 01:40:08 +0000

Is Jack P really dead? I am stunned.
I wish that the post about his death was just a terrible hoax.

By: Laura

Laura — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 05:01:53 +0000

I’ve had a fear of death for as long as I can remember, probably since my first dog died when I was 8 but I had been able to shake the feelings of anxiety because I was brought up Catholic and went to a Catholic grade school and therefore had a belief in heaven. But now that I’m older and high school and college are able to explain everything with science I’ve been struggling with doubts about an afterlife. I’ve started wondering if people just made up heaven to explain what happens to us after we die and it is this unassuredness that leaves my heart racing at the very thought of nonexistence. I wish I could get back that faith I had as a child so the anxiety would go away. I love being alive and the thought of having to leave this beautiful world behind for something that might not even exist is terrifying, especially if that means never seeing my family or friends ever again. If I could just have some definative proof all my worries would be gone.

By: Grace

Grace — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 17:18:22 +0000

I had a feeling there must be other people out there wondering the same sort of stuff I am. Its from the moment I wake up and I think to myself, one day I don’t wake up but will I know it…no. Its disgusting and I can’t get over it. I think about it pretty much throughout the day and wonder how people can go through life and not constantly be thinking jesus one day i’m going to die and theres nothing I can do about it. I have such morbid thoughts and I don’t want to tell people them because I think they’ll worry more but I tell people and they shrug it off like yeh we die we just have to deal with it. It makes me think im crazy, I went through life for ages not even giving it a second thought and then all of a sudden i’m completely taken over by the fear that one day I’ll be in the ground just like people from hundreds of years ago. They were on this earth and we have no recollection of there existence so is there any point even doing anything in this world or are these everyday tasks just distractions from the fact that we’ll die one day. Anyone please write back I need to speak to people it helps I think… maybe not but it’s nice to see others who aren’t just shrugging it off. Although maybe stick two fearful people in a room and you’d have an absolute train wreck by the end of it. I don’t want to die and no matter what amount of thought I put into it i can’t change it and it’s so annoying. It’s like you want to find a decision thats not there, I want a logical explanation for something there is no logical explanation for. Message me if you wish, I don’t know how but please do x

By: Fred

Fred — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 02:58:54 +0000

And only now I realized Jack Pickard passed away… Wow, I’m so sad right now.

My condolences to his family and relatives.

By: Fred

Fred — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 02:55:45 +0000

Hum, well, I’ve read this post 2 years ago, but only now I felt like posting something on the comments section.

Let me start off by saying that I’m an atheist and I did always found the idea of a personal god something really silly. I could go on about why, but I’m not here to debate that.

Two years ago, I suffered from a panic attack. I think I just realized I was going to die someday and that when I die I’d be gone for ever and ever, not able to see how my kids would turn out to be and so on. That I WILL someday lose my parents and my loved ones, since no one on my family close to me has died yet. That left me terrified. I was always shaking, crying alone, for at least 1 month. My mother comforted me, told me I was being silly and unreasonable for a 22 year old. I thought so too, but I was too terrified. I live a somewhat good life, but after that things just got worse. A close friend of mine died 2 months after this. I felt terrible, but I wasn’t as terrified as before. I thought “finally I accepted it, I’m going to die, everyone is going to die. I have to deal with it and stop being a wuss”. Well, sometimes I would still almost cry when asleep when those thoughts would come to my mind, but eventually it went away.

After I decided to go into college and try to get a better job once I graduate, my parents divorced. I felt terrible once again, I got drunk a lot, I would go on and on about how life is so pointless, on how I’d just rather die than live, stuff like that. My friends were quite shocked because I’m a pretty outgoing person, and I’ve never had love or social relations problems. I feel like only people that felt the same can TRULY understand me.

Anyways, nowadays it’s a whole lot better. I feel like I can handle it very well. It still pops up in my mind once in a while, but I say to myself that’s how life goes and I quietly fall asleep.

My advice is:

- Don’t ignore the thoughts. They’ll come no matter what in the beggining, after the “click”. Just try to think about it in a reasonable way (I know it’s hard).

- Eventually it will go away. Try to focus on things you like to do. As steve said, avoid sleeping in total silence, it will only make it easier for those thoughts to pop out. Watch an entire series of something on TV, it will keep you distracted, even if for a short ammount of time.

- Research on the subject. Research about atheists and their views on life, on how it should be lived. Think for yourself about it, see how you can improve your life and how you view it with their help.

Cheers everyone.

By: steve

steve — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 21:22:41 +0000

reading all these posts it seems everbody gets comfort from not being the only one,which is great to read. I think everbody has a small % of this but a person with thanatophobia seems to have much much more than a fair share.I beleive from self helping depressive,anxiety /panic attact problems in the past,that the brain can only realy focus on 1 thing at a time,a bit like meditation,keeping the black dog thoughts away,maybe concentrate on something very posative/nice/happy might help. TV Radio noises help non thantophobia sufferers to sleep to,parents know familiar noises settle small children. Non motor racing fans watch a grand prix,does the job for me lol.Haveing a suffering son makes this site facinating and a welcome relief .

By: Sarah

Sarah — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 05:55:22 +0000

I may or may not have this, but like most of the other people commenting, this is something i just cant get off my mind, and it is terrifying.

The thing that dosent make sense at all to me is that i’m only 16 and i shouldnt even feel the need to worry about it at all, but its the only thing i worry about. I guess i came to this page hoping for some way to deal with it or find something that could explain it right. Like, is there something wrong with me? But no, i guess its just something we all have to deal with. I’m at least glad i dont feel like the only one i guess..

I’d really like to believe in an afterlife as well, but thats my problem i think, because i dont know if i believe in anything at all anymore. I used to say i was christian, somewhat, to have something to believe in. But the more i think about it, the less i’m convinced or persuaded to believe anything religious.

I dont really know how to end this right so.. i guess. just, thank you for writing this. Really.

By: alex

alex — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 21:38:30 +0000

Thank you for this, this is all so scary it helps so much to kno im not alone and i read everything everyone said and thank you all

By: Jonathan Ferrell

Jonathan Ferrell — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 03:44:14 +0000

Believe me, you are DEFINATELY not the only one going through this. I’ve been going through this EXACT same problem ever since I was about 14. I can’t remember a time I’ve ever really believed in an afterlife and stuff, but I have ranted to beings which obviously weren’t there. I’ve tried looking at that whole “bright side” thing with no result, and accepted that anything that makes me “content” in any way is just another chemical stimulation in my brain improving my quality of life. But for what purpose? Later, I realised that “purpose” is just a man-made term, for exactly the same reason I stopped believing in contenting myself. I find myself locked in my own mind, knowing that there WILL be an end. I stumble across that word so heavily, I even lose my breathe. I keep hoping to one day find a way to live forever, to somehow alter my body in a way that I will never die, and I’ll have be content. High hopes, quite mad most would probably say. Maybe I could replace my heart before it gives out? Maybe I could put my brain in a different body and see what happens in worst-case scenario? But obviously our current society would prevent me from ever attempting such things, and I highly doubt I’d ever be so capable. So that’s it then, I’ll die. Nothing again, EVER. But like a few others have said, it helps me to write these feelings down, but then I contradict myself and destroy what little comfort I can possibly get for this. And obviously it’s not a choice to think this way, it’s just the way I am. And when things that most would deem supernatural occur, I deny it as an illusion; a mild schizophrenic cry for help; my mind trying to give me mercy. But it knows what it’s doing, and will never fall for it, no matter how much it wants to.