You might remember that there’s a lad I work with who accidentally sent a semi-nude photo of himself to his boss. Remember him? You know, the chap who dated the con-artist. Remember him now?

Well, he’s been getting some unusual phone calls at work lately. When I say “unusual”, I don’t mean “pervy”, I just mean unusual. Bear in mind I work in IT. So does he. And over the last two months, people have come through to his telephone, asking the following things:

• I’ve had a letter saying my Dad’s headstone is unsafe — what do you want me to do about it?
• Can I register for an athletics event?
• What do I need to do to repatriate a dead body from abroad?
• Is it legal to light a fire in your back garden?
• (and my personal favourite) … What? Who the bloody hell are you?

And bless him, he’s always done his bit to try and pass the messages on to the right people. But it could only be him who would get such a wide range of queries that have absolutely nothing to do with his areas of expertise — drinking and eating bacon sandwiches — and also nothing to do with the fields he’s paid to work in.