Yes, admittedly it’s not Friday. But a long-not-quite-lost friend sent me this one this morning and it made me grin while I was waiting at the bus stop. The “not-quite-lost” refers to the fact that my good mate Lyn (love and kisses) is someone I made friends with when I was at University (a “townie” rather than a student), and whom I haven’t seen since about 2001, but we’ve managed to hang on to each other’s phone numbers and correspond irregularly by text — usually swapping bad jokes.

Incidentally, if you read this Lyn, why not pop over to the North-East for a drink or eight…

But remember, this is Lyn’s joke. So, if you don’t like it, don’t blame me, blame her.

Cosmetic Surgery/ Beauty Treatment Joke

Glenda, Marjorie and Henrietta are sitting around a table in a restaurant for their regular Thursday lunch engagement.

“What do you think, girls?” asked Henrietta, “I’ve had some of that Botox stuff and just look! Hardly any wrinkles.”

The other two looked, and, it not being a particularly catty relationship between the three of them, nodded their agreement.

“Well I’m thinking of having my breasts enhanced,” said Glenda. “I just want to firm them up a bit, you know…”

The other two nodded and smiled.

“Yes, the years take their toll if you don’t fight back, don’t they?” said Marjorie. “To be honest — and keep this one to yourselves girls — I’m thinking of having my arsehole bleached.”

There was an audible gasp from Henrietta and Glenda clasped her hand over her mouth.

“Come on girls, it’s not that bad!” Marjorie exclaimed. “It’s even quite fashionable!”

“Well, fashionable it may be,” Glenda began. “But I just can’t imagine your Geoff with blonde hair…”