I recorded this the other night as I was out when it was on, so decided to watch it tonight instead.

I had been hoping to enjoy this: I’d really enjoyed the BBC Series ‘The Invisibles’, so when they were pushing another drama series, I thought I’d give it a bash.

I had to admit I was slightly puzzled as to how exactly the BBC were going to make an archeology series exciting, but I needn’t have bothered. They were bastardising the ‘nutter Christian’ stereotype with the Indiana Jones stereotype — it might not have been the Holy Grail but they were looking for a sample of the one true cross.

As soon as I knew that they were investigating the possibility of it being the ‘one true cross’, I knew that it would not be proved to be so (and it may well be definitively proved not to be). Why? Simply because it would contradict the whole point of the series — to have mysteries. Besides which, if they proved the existence of Jesus Christ in episode one, they’d have a hard job topping that in the rest of the series…

I’m not saying Christians always come out badly in these: I’ve seen stuff with ‘Muslim terrorists’ although people seem wary of playing out that stereotype but the ‘Christian nutter’ seems to be a standard target. It’s always the Christian religious zealot, isn’t it? Can’t you have some Hindu or Sikh religious zealot for a change? Or maybe even an atheist zealot, murdering anyone who publicly disagrees with the First Church of Dawkins?

Then you had the Muslim chap who was basically all nice and saying “hey, why don’t we all just like, you know, leave together in peace and harmony man, and find God in our own way?”. Wow. Like far out, man. They couldn’t have laid on the political correctness any thicker here if they had used a trowel. Yes, I know there are an awful lot of piece loving Muslims, but if you’re going to write one in, at least give them a character rather than this rather pathetic tokenism which serves no purpose other than to go “look, Muslims can be nice”.

I remember Viz did a strip where one of their characters, Gilbert Ratchet, was about to pop into a mosque, and then neatly side-stepped into a church because ‘it’s better to be safe than sorry’. I can’t help but think Christianity seems to be an easy target — and that seems to be partly because they assume Christians won’t be offended, and partly because they don’t care…

[Note: I don't get offended by people poking fun at religion. I even watched the first half of Jerry Springer the Opera, giving up only because it was crap, rather than from any offense. But I think maybe Christianity seems to come in for more than its fair share of poking... note also that I wouldn't class myself as religious, Christian or otherwise.]

Anyway, back to Bonekickers…

Add a stereotype feisty Celt, with trimmings of ‘family tragedy related to the job’, and just a soupçon of ‘not getting on with some other senior archeologist who is too publicity-seeking’ just to really lay on the ‘serious archeologist’ overtones and you’re ready to begin. But make sure you lay it on thick, because you obviously haven’t bothered with any actual research, and just trot out the same hackneyed old lines that have no basis in fact…

…the templars were deemed too radical. King Phillip of France outlawed them in 1307. The arrests began on Friday 13 hence that date is unlucky.Bonekickers

Sigh. You’d think an archeologist — particularly one described as ‘google with a beergut’ would know better. Yes, many templars were simultaneously arrested on 13th October 1307, but:

Friday 13 October 1307 (a date which is sometimes linked with the origin of the Friday the 13th superstition, although there is no factual connection known) Philip ordered de Molay and scores of other French Templars to be simultaneously arrestedWikipedia: Knights Templar

(The claim that the Friday the 13th superstition began with the arrest of the final Grand Master of the Knights Templar, Jacques Demolay, on Friday, October 13, 1307, is a modern-day invention.)

Books of English folklore generally cite a 1913 Notes & Queries reference as the earliest known expression of Friday the 13th as a day of evil luck, and this corresponds to what we found when we searched The New York Times and the Los Angeles Times for similar references. In both newspapers the first mentions of the ill-fated date occured in 1908

Snopes.com: Friday 13th

Even more problematic, for this or any other theory positing premodern origins for Friday the 13th superstitions, is the fact that no one has been able to document the existence of such beliefs prior to the 19th century. If people who lived before the late 1800s perceived Friday the 13th as a day of special misfortune, no evidence has been found to prove it. As a result, some scholars are now convinced the stigma is a thoroughly modern phenomenon exacerbated by 20th-century media hype.Urban Legends: Friday the 13th

Frankly, if that’s the best archeologist the team have got, I’d suggest it’s time for them all to go back to school…

It could have been good. If they’d started things off slowly and not tried to bring the whole issue of religious artefacts (and rather major ones at that) in at the outset. If the characters had been a bit more believable. If they had managed to keep any suspense in the story. If it sounded like they knew what they were talking about — but unfortunately it ended up making The Da Vinci Code look like a serious historical tract.

That’s not to say I expect every archeological / religious-history type drama to attempt to be as factually accurate as it is possible to be — Indiana Jones is a romp — but I had expected far better from the BBC.

I didn’t really have any problem with the acting, either, it was just the scripts. I just think that the scripts might have turned out better if they had got a grown-up to write them. Still, I quite liked the Knights Templar t-shirts…

Update: If you want a laugh, read through the comments on episode one on the bonekickers fan site to see precisely how badly this episode went down…

My personal favourite is “I am not looking for a hidden message, just a script”