After all, it’s been there more than 800 years now…

In Anglo-Saxon times the vicinity of the old Roman fort at Newcastle came to be known as Monkchester after a small community of monks who settled in the area. The later name Newcastle did not come into existence until Norman times when Robert Curthose, eldest son of William the Conqueror built a castle here on return from a raid into Scotland. Naturally Robert called the building his `New Castle, and the name has stuck ever sinceThe North East England History Pages

Oh, I dunno… Monkchester United has a certain ring to it, doncha think?

Anyway, the plan for this trip out was to visit Newcastle’s keep — part of the castle built later (on the site of Curthose’s original) — which was built by Henry II between 1168 and 1178.

I’d not been to the castle, despite it being on my doorstep, since the kids were born, and so it seemed about time to take them along to explore — although obviously it wasn’t going to be pushchair-friendly, so a certain amount of walking would be involved and we weren’t entirely sure that tight stone spiral staircases build considerably before modern building regulations would be suitable for a two year old, we decided to give it a try anyway.

As we approached the Keep from Newcastle Central Station we began to notice that the Keep appeared to be basically sealed inside a wall of polythene sheeting. This did not bode well, particularly as from the angle we were approaching we could see part of a slogan which said something like:

Newcastle Keep
during renovatHalf-read banner

Right. So it’s being renovated. Sigh. I wouldn’t normally mind, but I’ve been on the bloody website this morning, and they didn’t say anything about it being closed. You’d think they would have at least updated that! Just wait until I get home … I’ll be sending off a stiff email to those…

…oh, hang on…

Newcastle Keep open as normal
during renovation workBanner

Oh, well that’s all right then.

Anyway, based on previous experience, the castle is surprisingly cheap: £1.50 for adults, 50p concessions (under 16 or over 60), and children under 5 free. Hurrah! Only three quid to get in. I rather suspect that there are a lot of people who live in the Newcastle and Gateshead areas who have never visited Newcastle Keep. It’s only one pound fifty. Come on, you’ve got no excuse…

The exterior of the castle shows a lot of restoration, as the castle had needed to go extensive repair work in order to make it safe, as much of the exterior masonry was crumbling, and had been for quite some time before work began to restore it in the 19th Century.

about the mid 14th century, the castle was isolated within the new defences and became militarily redundant. From that time on few repairs are recorded, and by 1589 it was described as old and ruinousThe Castle Keep, Newcastle Museums

Once you get in and past the ticket office, there’s a little entrance hall (officially called ‘the museum room’ on the first floor floorplan) with, oddly enough, some art exhibits from some school or college or something, and one of those picture things that you stick your head through. Left to right, we have SWP appearing as a court jester, BTP as a valiant knight, and the GLW as a court lady.

Next, we make our way to the Queen’s Chamber where waxwork/mannequins present an image of castle life from … some unspecified point in time. When you first see this you think “ah, that’s interesting, the castle is going to show recreations of what it used to be like” but in fact this is the only display of this sort, so you end up wondering what is the significance of that specific display, as opposed to any others? Or did they only have two mannequins to begin with?

However, these could of course have been ghosts:

Foot steps, growling, a lady seen in the queens chamber…
There is supposed to be a back packer who walks the castle…
We have some grate photos that look like a man sitting on the floor in shackles
Moning and crying has been herd in the garrison room which was used as prison for over 200 years
Witch’s where held in the castle.Spirit Seekers

Now, if these people are serious about ‘seeking spirits’ (or even simply making some money) might I suggest they invest in a spell-checker, as the laughably frequent spelling mistakes on their site aren’t exactly redolent of professionalism… if you want to look professional, then when there’s a sensible, rational explanation, you follow it, even if that means admitting you were initially wrong.

What looks like a figure crouched looking down the corridor towards the camera is actually simply myself setting up the data logger and motion sensor in the north west corner, and not in any way or shape an apparition or ghost.Tony Liddell

Sadly, the ‘black mass’ ghost has now made its way on to several other wesbites, despite the ‘black mass’ actually being one of the ghosthunters crouching down to set up their equipment.

We then made our way down the spiral staircases to the ground floor (ground floor plan), to investigate the garrison room where I saw what could be described as ‘spirit orbs’ that could not be seen by the naked eye, but appeared only when I took a photo.

Joking aside however, I would say that the garrison room feels creepy.

Anyway, on from there we moved up to the second floor (floorplan) where we visited the King’s Chamber and then presumably the King’s Smallest Chamber, where the kids were fascinated by the idea that the people who lived here basically just crapped down a hole (not the terminology we used!) and there was no flush…

You could tell that this was the King’s toilet because of the well-thumbed copies of ‘Ye Viz’ and ‘Used Waggon Trader’ on the shelf beside the loo.

I was initially extremely disappointed to come across the old castle door which had so many names recently carved into it, that I was thinking that this castle had managed to stand for eight hundred years and had survived (with repairs, admittedly) in relatively decent condition, and then some fuckwits were coming along and thinking it was funny to carve their name into a piece of history…

…and then I discovered they were just carrying on a centuries old tradition, and kind of lost my venom at that point…

On the stonework opposite and to the right of the fireplace, graffiti left by the Civil War garrison can be seen, including the date 164(?)The Castle Keep, Newcastle Museums [2]

Also on this floor was the Well Room. The well is apparently 99 foot deep with around forty foot of water in the bottom, so that in the event of a siege, the castle would still have a supply of fresh water. There was also a system of drains in the well room that, if you poured water into them, would carry water to basins all around the castle. Clever, eh?

The well itself was covered with a kind of a perspex sheet so you can’t just dangle down it to take photographs — which is why it was quite difficult to get a photo without too much light reflecting off it…

From the top of the castle, however the view is simply fantastic: great views of the Swing Bridge, the Tyne Bridge, the High Level Bridge (shown), Newcastle Central Station, and not forgetting that bloody car park.

The High Level Bridge has only just re-opened, after been closed since February 2005 for repair after severe cracks were found in some of the Bridge’s iron girders. It was originally still open for pedestrian access, but because of vandalism fears, it was then closed to everyone, until it was opened in June 2008 as a single-lane route for southbound only bus and taxi traffic, and of course in both directions for pedestrians. This was because the girders were deemed to be fragile and in danger of collapse if struck in a road collision — so the road was narrowed and barriers erected to prevent collision with the bridge structure.

But the kids had never been across the high level bridge, so we agreed that on the way back we’d walk back across it.

But we still had unfinished business in the castle…

…the unfinished stair, to be precise. The seventeen steps in a stair case which lead up to end … in solid masonry. The placard nearby suggests that work on this was abandoned when William the Lion, King of Scotland, invaded Northumberland in 1174. I don’t exactly know why, but this unfinished stair has always fascinated me… I guess it’s just the idea of a staircase not actually going anywhere.

I mean, you’d think you’d know where the staircase was going to go before you’d start building it, wouldn’t you? It always makes me think that there must be more to that story… where was it going? Why didn’t they re-start it?

Ah well, if you think that’s inexplicable, you’ve not heard about the Flying Donkey…

In 1733, one of the most bizarre incidents in the Keep’s history took place: that of the Flying Donkey. A showman drew a crowd to the keep, with the statement that he would wear wings and fly from the top of the Keep: however, he became nervous and instead strapped the wings to a donkey and pushed it from the top of the 100′ tall tower. Amazingly, the donkey survived the fall, due much to the unfortunate spectator on whom the beast landed (who didn’t survive)….Otherworld North East: A History of Newcastle Keep

…so if you live nearby, or you’re coming into the area for any reason, make certain you pay a visit to Newcastle Keep. And if you can’t make it in person, why not try the virtual tour?