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Err… yes… thanks for letting me know. I always seek to find out the latest international and political news through people posting comments on my blog which have nothing to do with the subject in question. You won’t catch me reading the paper, reading online news or watching the TV news when I can instead be informed of the latest news by spammers, no sir.

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I mentioned this sort last time: what exactly do people mean by a hot piano? Are they referring to some smokin’ blues or jazz, is it a piano that is on fire (you know, something you could probably expect Stan and Ollie to be associated with) or are they referring to a sexy piano? The last idea is probably the most disturbing…

to set my initial plants up, it took me about 30 minutes. I bought this with a Co2 system as well. Lo and behold this box is not only growing my plants at a rate of 1 inch per day, but by the time my first harvest came in, the younger plants were tall enough to move to the flowering chamber. This is pretty good and my first experience with a proper hydroponics systemSpammer

Well, I’m pleased to hear that you are having such a fun experience… gardening. Although I presume that, while you don’t mention what sort of plants you have, they are a very particular sort of a plant. Which I have no intention of growing myself, so I’m not really interested in a review of hydroponics equipment, thanks. Although I love the way these adverts (e.g. in the back of Viz) normally look to imply that they should only be used for growing perfectly legal things. Yeah, like anyone would want to grow tomatoes in a secret compartment in their attic…

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Well, that’s probably very true: at least you can’t accuse them of false advertising. But I can’t help think this isn’t exactly going to encourage people to purchase their product…

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1. No problem.
2. Well, now you do.
3. Eh?
4. Eh? I thought you just said thanks for the help…
5. So can I.
6. No. I won’t. We won’t.

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You know, it might just be me, but I’d probably be less likely to have someone as a babysitter if I knew they were running a porn site. As for the second, while I have no objection to that sort of thing per se for people who do like it, I have to say that it’s really not for me…

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Does this sound kind of vaguely… familiar to anyone?

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To be honest, I don’t think it really needs that much documentation. Vodka, coffee liqueur, and cream. That’ll do yer.

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I think this is perhaps failing to research your market. A lot of people would probably be reluctant to purchase web design services from spammers, but offering your web design services to me — when I offer these services myself — is even less likely to get a useful response. I may indeed charge more than these people suggested: but on the other hand, if you go with me your website will not only be of better quality, but it will actually appear…

Right now, I spend about $53 per month on my phone bill…Spammer

Look, I’m not sure exactly how to phrase this without seeming slightly rude, but what precisely was it on my post about upgrading wordpress that made you think I’d give a flying fuck what your phone bill is, or how many free texts you get per month? Just wondering…

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If by home page you mean the one your browser is set to by default, I believe you. I just don’t understand — and here we have some similarities to the last message — why you think I would care?

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Ah, do you mean Dragon from Shrek? Who obviously is married to Donkey…? No?

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Ah, no… I think we’ll just leave it there for now, okay…?