One night, George was feeling a little bored, so he said to his wife Mabel, “I fancy a trip to the pub, put your coat on.” “My coat?” she said, “Which one? Should I wear my blue one or my black one?” “Whichever one you like, woman!” He snapped. “It’s just that I’m going to [...]

Don’t worry, you don’t need to understand the words, just so long as you can look at the pictures. What? No, it’s not that sort of site. So far as I can tell, it’s some sort of shopping site, I just think it’s pretty funny. Have a look for yourselves. (Thanks to LSW for pointing [...]

Tom McMadeUp was an events organiser, and was delighted to find that he’d been asked to arrange a big Church bash at a London hotel, with more than 500 ecclesiastical figures attending. Initially, everything seemed to be going well, but then one of his clergymen sidled up to him, indicating that he “needed a word”. [...]

Watching CITV with my kids the other weekend, I discovered they were fans of something called Captain Mack. As kids TV goes, it’s fairly bog standard; caricatures in big bright costumes with a pantomime villain. However, at the end, when Captain Mack had saved the day — by finding the baddie who had taken the [...]

This is a list of reasons why people have spoken to the police after dialling 999 (that’s like 911, only with more 9s and less 1s). Surprisingly enough, the police weren’t best pleased about this, as 999 is for the emergency services. Similarly, if you’re filling in a computer system that requires you to supply [...]

Aar! It be international Talk Like A Pirate Day 2008, so it be. And if ye doesn’t talk like I pirate, I’ll run me cutlass through yer innards, ye stinking yellow-bellied scurvy dogs, and ye’ll feel the lash o’ me cat on yer back afore I keel-haul ye. [Anyone wanting the pirate image for their [...]

In the US presidential election, John McCain’s latest campaign ad said that Barack Obama was ‘the biggest celebrity’ in the world, cutting in a picture of Paris Hilton and suggesting that this didn’t necessarily mean that he was ready to lead. Except it seemed to upset Paris Hilton that she was used to imply Obama [...]

Stuart, did you ever get that nagging suspicion that there was something you’d missed? A headline, perhaps? It still hadn’t been defined 12 hours after I first spotted it — check for yourself if they’ve ever got round to updating the article.

Brought to you from The Onion Video News… …nuff said.

For those of you who are easily offended: How in the name of blue blazes did you end up on my site? Don’t read on…