Friday Joke: A Man Walks Into A Bar…

…in New York with a large suitcase under one arm. He sits at the bar looking morose and the barman brings him a drink over.

“Mighty kind of you,” says the man, “do you want to hear a tune?”

“Holy Smokes! Have you got a musical instrument in the bag?” asks the barman.

“Well, kinda,” says the man as he pulls a tiny stool and a tiny piano out of his bag and sets them on the bar. Next he pulls out an old brass oil lamp, which he places on the bar, and finally he pulls out a tiny wriggling figure, which turns out to be a miniature man in a top hat and tails.

The miniature man sits down on the miniature piano stool and then begins to play the piano beautifully. It’s the most fantastic music the barman has ever heard, and he’s almost moved to tears by the quality of the performance.

“Why,” says the barman “That’s amazing!”

“Huh.” says the man “You wouldn’t say that if you knew the story.”

“Well tell me the story, then!”

“All right”, says the man, “but you’ll have to get me another drink first.”

So the barman fetches him another drink and the man begins to relate his tale.

“…so there I was in Tunis, and this market seller sold me this lamp, claiming there was a genie in it. And to be fair, there was. Only he didn’t tell me everything about the genie — like the fact that each owner only gets one wish, and this“, indicating the miniature man still playing a sweet melody, “— was mine.”

“So if I bought the lamp off you, I’d get a wish?”, asked the barman, rubbing his palms eagerly.

“Yeah, I suppose so, but—”

“I’ll give you two hundred dollars for it, cash.” said the barman, waving the bills in front of the man.

“All right then, here you go, but—”

Taking no notice, the barman rubbed furiously at the lamp, and a genie appeared, blinking.

“I wish for a million bucks!” shouted the barman.

There was a bright flash, a puff of smoke and then the room was suddenly filled with squawking, quacking, and lots — and I do mean lots — of feathers.

“I said BUCKS, not ducks!” yelled the barman.

“I did try to warn you the genie was hard of hearing, mate”, said the man, slipping the cash into his pocket. “Did you really think I’d asked for a twelve-inch pianist?”

One Response to “Friday Joke: A Man Walks Into A Bar…”

  1. Mike Cherim responds:

    Oh, my, that’s funny! :)

    I know a similar joke were the genie was a beautiful woman and a little too literal. In that joke the wisher was a big guy, body-builder type, but he had a disproportionately small head.

    A bar patron who was staring at him, seeing it as an oddity, and demanded his story. The body-builder told him about how he found this genie bottle on a beach while jogging one day, rubbed it, a beautiful female genie appeared and granted him one wish… He asked for a little head.


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