Web Development: It’s hardly rocket science
… but let’s get it right: I’m a web developer and/or designer. You could also refer to me as a systems or a database developer or designer. You could also refer to me as a IT Projects Manager. All of these things I do.
What I do not do, what I have never done, and I have no intention of ever doing is the thing that seemingly e veryone who knows to me refers to me as doing:
Jack? Oh, he works in computersEveryone I know
Now I could just about live with “in computing”, okay. In computers? I think not. It makes me sound like some sort of tiny little creature who will scuttle to the back of the disk drive in order to clean the fluff out.
On behalf of all of my colleagues across the world who work “in computers” then, I’d like to put some hypothetical questions to you all (by all means, point your relatives at this site)…
Hypotheticals
- Hypothetical Situation 1
- Let’s imagine a chap comes up to you in a bar and you have a conversation, during which he reveals to you that he is a thoracic surgeon. Do you remember him as:
- A thoracic surgeon
- A surgeon
- A doctor
- Working ‘in a hospital’
- Hypothetical Situation 2
- Let’s imagine you are now talking to a large bearded chap who happens to be a metallurgist, specialising in corrosion. Do you remember him as:
- Bryan
- A corrosion expert
- A metallurgist
- A scientist
- A boffin
- That hairy bloke
Obviously in my case, it’s less of a hypothetical situation and so I can comfortably answer a, b, c, d and f, as well as adding “Granda Bryan” into the mix.
- Hypothetical Situation 3
- You find yourself talking to a gentleman in a bar (I know, there’s a bit of a recurring theme, but bear with it) who grudgingly admits to you that he is a traffic warden, and his job is to clamp cars and issue parking tickets. Assuming you can get past the expletives, how would you describe his occupation?
- A traffic warden
- A bit like a kind of a policeman, I suppose
- Is it not something to do with the council now, traffic?
- A bloke who works in the road
- Hypothetical Situation 4
- Someone you know quite well — your son, for example — describes his occupation to you as a “web designer and developer”. How do you think of his occupation?
- A web developer and designer
- A web developer
- A web designer
- Something to do with the internet
- “He works in computers”
Do you see? Do you see? It’s not like it’s difficult, is it? I mean, I know it’s not brain surgery but remembering that I design and build websites for a living isn’t really like I’m asking you to split the atom, is it? On behalf of all those IT developers, support technicians, those who build base units and install software, I’d just like to leave you all with one last thought:
Not one single fucking one of us works “in” computers.
G’night.
Mike Cherim says:
February 21st, 2007 at 3:47 am
So, you’re in computers, huh?
Joe Dolson says:
February 21st, 2007 at 5:41 am
Yeah, well…my dad has some trouble with conceptualizing this whole “web” thing — so I pretty much just let the “in computers” simplification pass…
Granted, it’s a little inaccurate. Nobody in their right mind would pay me to actually work inside their computer.
Steve Pugh says:
February 21st, 2007 at 7:24 am
Hang on, so you’re saying that you’re not a real chemist then?
mark fairlamb says:
February 21st, 2007 at 9:22 am
bloody hell, i thought you were a professional quiz machine jockey!
Rob Mason says:
February 21st, 2007 at 9:29 am
So do you work on computers then…:)
Rich Pedley says:
February 21st, 2007 at 9:52 am
I usually get ‘you know a lot about computers’ (though not working may have something to do with this slight difference. I tend to get a lot of ‘how do you do this’ and ‘how do you do that’.
Dan says:
February 21st, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Unless you’re Jim.
mark fairlamb says:
February 21st, 2007 at 3:29 pm
i’m an export administrator / freight forwarder (depending what kind of a day i’m having).
when someone asks me to explain what i do you can see their expression going blank as i speak, so i tell them that i play with trucks.
Blair Millen says:
February 21st, 2007 at 9:40 pm
Love it Jack, brilliant!
the medicine lady says:
February 21st, 2007 at 10:48 pm
re Hypothethical situation no 4- I have been misquoted! I usually say ‘he’s something to do with computers’ or ‘he plays with computers’. The hairy one you mention ‘plays in the lab’ and finally please note, I am not made of medicines and I am certainly no lady!
Matt says:
February 21st, 2007 at 11:41 pm
So thats what we do all day - barring the obligatory hour on the quiz machine
Loretta says:
February 27th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
ROFL! So, you haven’t got a magical shrink ray that makes you small enough to fit inside my computer and rearrange all the data?
paul canning says:
March 5th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
very funny ;]
sometimes i would actually like to be in the computer. with headphones on. and the phone unplugged. days when i have to explain ‘user-focus’ for the nineteenth time example …
other times i feel like i’m literally being sucked in. bit like Tron …