Slumdog Review

There’s a film called “Slumdog Millionaire” which is out at the moment and appears to have generally picked up good reviews. I haven’t seen it myself — although I may do at some point — but I heard a review of it today which I simply had to share with you.

It was really good. I managed to stay awake the whole way through.“Reviewer”

Talk about damning with faint praise…

I don’t know about this particular reviewer (well, actually I do, since she’s my mother, but we’ll pretend I didn’t say that, so as not to embarrass her) but I stay awake throughout every film, even if it is fairly crap. Although in some cases — notably Wall-E, Bee Movie and Maid In Manhattan — I perhaps would have preferred to have been asleep.

She — er, the anonymous reviewer, that is — then went on to add that it was the best film she they had seen for some time, but then again if you you watch all of one film, and miss large chunks of other films what with being asleep, I would tend to assume you’d prefer the one you’d actually seen anyway. Jonathon Ross and Barry Norman probably don’t need to worry about their jobs just yet.

But is is a Danny Boyle film, and I tend to like the stuff he’s directed, apart from the complete hash they made of the Judge Dredd adaptation. However, I’m beginning to think that I shouldn’t actually hold this against Danny Boyle any more, partly because I imagine the studio and Stallone would have had a major part in the Hollywoodisation (also “ruining”) of the story, and partly because when I actually checked, it turns out the director of Judge Dredd was actually Danny Cannon.

Update: …although interestingly, it turns out a new Judge Dredd film is apparently to be made, by DNA films, who were the production company behind a couple of Danny Boyle’s ones. So maybe Danny Boyle will get a crack at it after all…

3 Responses to “Slumdog Review”

  1. The Goldfish responds:

    My folks do this and my Mum in particular will give very high praise to a film which she missed the end of - and not just through sleep. The most infuriating one is when she raves about a television drama that she’s recommending but concludes, “I’m not sure how it ended because it was getting late and I went for a bath.”

    Personally, I frequently fall asleep during films but it doesn’t indicate a black point against them. Recently I’ve been falling asleep at the most frustrating moments, during car-chases, roof-top fist fights and the like (that is, those things in films - I can generally stay awake when I’m having a roof-top fist fight myself). However, I do make the effort to catch up with what I missed before passing judgment.

  2. Jack's Mam responds:

    Don’t believe a word of it!
    Btw, Jack, I was thinking of making some elderflower sorbet but now…………

  3. Graham Cluley responds:

    I think your mum is onto something.

    Despite not yet reaching the age of 40, I nearly always fall asleep at the cinema.

    It’s got to the point where chums have to keep a close eye on me - jabbing me with their elbow at regular intervals. Like The Goldfish, the sleep (or “eye-naps” as I’d like to to call them) tend to occur during action sequences, and are particularly likely to occur during anything involving expensive CGI effects. So I can completely understand his falling asleep during a fight sequence or as Harry Potter plays bloody Quidditch.

    Unfortunately it’s not just a cinema problem for me. It’s also occurred at the theatre.

    I was fortunate enough to have tickets for a play starring the delectable Kristin Scott-Thomas a year or two ago, and found myself in the middle of the front row.

    Inexplicably, I fell asleep almost immediately Bob Hoskins shot himself (rather loudly) in the head half way through the play which briefly stirred me, but the rest of the play is a mystery as I only truly woke up as the audience applauded at the finale.

    Kristin Scott-Thomas seemed to be glowering at me as she took her curtain call.

    It is one of the greatest regrets of my life that I have probably now destroyed my chances with her.

    At least there’s still Irene Jacob..

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