Blumen’ Brilliant

So I decided to watch Heston’s Feasts on Channel 4, in which the chef Heston Blumenthal is preparing a feast for a bunch of celebrity guests based on a particular time period. This weeks was The Victorians.

I decided to watch this for a number of reasons. Firstly, I became aware of the programme because the current issue of the TV listings magazine The Radio Times has an interview with Heston, where he discusses some of the dishes which will be seen in the series. That planted the initial seed.

And then I read Charlie Brooker’s screen burn column in Saturday’s Guardian Guide. In fact, I think it was the opening paragraph sold it for me:

Perspex Soup. Wind and Pineapple Biscuits. Absinthe and Dildos. One of these is genuinely on the menu in Heston Blumenthal’s Feast (Tue, 9pm, C4), which is without doubt the most mental cookery programme you’ll ever see, unless you’re in the habit of necking six LSD tabs on a weekend morning and staring at Saturday Kitchen until James Martin’s face turns into a singing horseshoe in space.Charlie Brooker’s Screen Burn / The Guardian

Although having really enjoyed Heston’s Victorian Feast, I do hope this doesn’t mean I’m contractually obliged to drop six LSD tabs and watch Saturday Kitchen next weekend…

Fortunately, I was sat at my computer while watching Heston, and therefore felt obliged to spout bollocks about it via Twitter, as well as reading other people’s opinions on this (or at least those other people I follow and were talking about it). These included @glinner (comedy writer Graham Linehan), and fellow bloggers @stephenlang and @pekingspring (although I’m not entirely sure whether that last one was watching also, or just chipping in to the conversation).

But it was enjoyable, having a virtually real-time conversation with people about a shared watching experience, despite the fact that we were all in very separate locations (and in @glinner’s case, probably not hearing our parts of the conversation). I don’t know why it was fun to watch the programme ‘together’, but it was. It’s nice to see what other people feel about it in real time.

Same time next week, eh lads?

Also, I’m not entirely sure how the fact that Victorian doctors used to masturbate Victorian ladies in order to relieve “hysteria” was worked into the programme. The chain of logic appeared to be:

  1. We’re having jelly
  2. We need to make the jelly wobble
  3. What can we use to make jelly wobble?
  4. I know! A vibrating cock!
  5. Did you know, Victorian Doctors used to…

Oh, and I also have a new ambition. To become a celebrity in time for the next series of this, so I can be invited to come along and eat this fantastically bizarre food — like the edible garden, for example — without, and this is the important part, having to pay for it.

But please, watch this. It is just too entertainingly bizarre to miss. If you did miss it, but you’re based in the UK, you can catch up with Channel 4’s catchup service, and I would urge you to do so.

2 Responses to “Blumen’ Brilliant”

  1. paul canning responds:

    If you like that you’ll absolutely adore this

  2. Holly responds:

    I liked Heston when he did the programme about revamping Little Chef, so thought I’d give his new show a try. I really enjoyed it, but can’t believe what a perfectionist he is…and also I wonder what goes on in his mind for him to come up with some of this stuff:

    Heston: I removed the motors from the vibrating tongues… (!!!)

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