Football Gossip: If In Doubt, Make Something Up

Thursday, January 14, 2010 7:39 | Filed in Newcastle United, Sport

One of my favourite parts of football gossip is what is known as “the transfer rumour”. This is when your local newspaper links your local football club with at least three or four new players in every week in order to try and shift more copies because to be honest no-one is really interested in the other big headlines “cat up tree safely recovered” and “job believed to be available in local area”.

As a Newcastle United fan, I’m used to our local paper — the Evening Chronicle — churning out this sort of information. But as I’ve criticised this in the past for linking us with fifty-three different players and when we eventually sign one, triumphantly announcing “we told you first” — conveniently ignoring the 52 times they were wrong — I’ve been delighted to uncover an even less reliable source of information.

This is known as the Sky Sports Rumour Room, where people are supposed to send in the latest transfer rumours they have heard, only it appears to be a mix of existing transfer speculation mixed in with local rivalry, wishful thinking, and complete and utter bollocks.

And obviously, I’ve been having fun with it…

Looking at Jermaine Beckford — currently at Leeds United, 26, linked a lot with Newcastle recently, out of contract at the end of the season, untried above League One — what have people heard he’s up to? (remember, this is supposed to be rumours not “fantasy transfer window”)…

No. Player Destination Price Other Team supported by alleged source
1 Jermaine Beckford Newcastle United £1.75 million – Leeds United
2 Spurs Unknown Alleged first-person sighting Spurs
3 Sunderland Unknown Allegedly ‘interested in’ Sunderland
4 Newcastle United Unknown Latest news ‘linked with us’ Newcastle United
5 Newcastle United Unknown ‘once Leeds sign a replacement’ Newcastle United
6 Newcastle United Unknown Seen as Newcastle’s training ground by a mate Norwich City
7 Leicester City Unknown – Leicester City
8 West Brom £3 million – West Brom
9 Sheffield United Player exchange – Sheffield United
10 Newcastle United £2.5 million – Newcastle United
11 Nottingham Forest £2 million – Nottingham Forest
12 Nottingham Forest £1.5 million plus player – Nottingham Forest
13 Sunderland £2 million – Sunderland
14 Newcastle United £3.7 million – Leeds United
15 Newcastle United Unknown ‘within days of handing in a transfer request’ Newcastle United
16 Celtic Unknown ‘the barcodes are not in the running, come to a big club with ambition’ Celtic
17 Newcastle United £2.5 million – Leeds United
18 Newcastle United £1.5 million Put “(RELIABLE SOURCES)” in brackets, so it must be true… Newcastle United
19 Newcastle United £5 million – Manchester United
20 Newcastle United £1.5 million – Leeds United
21 Newcastle United Unknown with bonus Sol Campbell Hearts
22 Newcastle United Unknown ‘will try to sign’ Newcastle United
23 Unknown £5.75 million – Leeds United
24 Aston Villa Unknown – Aston Villa
25 Celtic £7 million ‘are approaching Beckford and he is having a fitness test right now’ Aberdeen

(Rumours all as at 12th January)

So firstly, I’d like to offer my congratulations to Jermaine Beckford, for having been responsible for 1/6th of all transfer rumours — that’s quite an astonishing return for a league one player. However, he is obviously remarkably busy, having managed trips to Newcastle, London and Glasgow all in one day. Unless one or more of these sources is telling porky pies, of course…

It’s obviously noticeable that he’s previously been linked with Newcastle, so anyone linking him with Newcastle — unless they have anything new to add — is just regurgitating existing gossip. On the other hand, the fact that virtually everyone (with the exception of Leeds fans) who talk about him seem to want him to sign for their club (I particularly like the ‘barcodes out of the running’ which suggests that the person knows something, followed by the impassioned plea ‘come to a big club with ambition’ which then suggests the person hasn’t got the foggiest what Beckford’s plans are after all).

But some of the funniest bits are people who obviously don’t know the details of a particular player, yet aren’t going to let that deter them from. There’s the people (#14, #19, #23 –who seemed to feel that selling a player out of contract in 5 months would finance about seven signings, #25) who seem to think someone is likely to pay over £3.5 million for a player they could get in the summer for free (over 24, will be out of contract). At least do some research before making up blatant transfer bollocks.

Although on that note, the best one I saw doesn’t involve Jermaine Beckford at all. It’s this one, from a Sunderland fan–

My uncle works at the stadium of light and he said that bruce might be taking in 3 players such as a £3 million spending on mario melchiot. A £4 million transfer for Hull city’s Hunt, and a end of season loan to buy for LA Galaxy striker Donavan.

Hmm. The only LA Galaxy striker with a name like that I can think of is Landon Donovan, but he signed for Everton last week. If your uncle does work at the Stadium of Light, I really hope he’s not part of their scouting team, otherwise Steve Bruce is in trouble…

But I also like the people who add the words “(RELIABLE SOURCES)” or “FACT!” to their blatant nonsense, just so people know that it must be true, because it’s not actually possible to write that sort of thing if you’re lying. I think. Unless it’s just that writing FACT! makes it come true. So I’ll just leave you with a rumour I recently heard…

Newcastle United will sign Jermaine Beckford, Matthew Kilgallon, Cesc Fabregas and Kaka, all funded by the £1.4 billion Real Madrid will pay us for Kazenga Lua Lua… and I’ll win the Euromillions. FACT!

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44 Comments to Football Gossip: If In Doubt, Make Something Up

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    January 16th, 2010 at 2:52 am

    [...] ThePickards » Football Gossip: If In Doubt, Make Something Up [...]

  2. Jack's Mam says:

    January 17th, 2010 at 9:29 pm

    It is with a heavy heart that I must tell you that sadly Jack passed away suddenly and unexpectedly last night. His family are devastated and unable to comprehend the loss of such a loved,caring,and sincere person. The blog world will miss him too.

  3. ciderlass says:

    January 17th, 2010 at 10:04 pm

    Dear Jack’s Mam,
    Word is spreading through cyberspace and we’re all devastated to hear the sad news. He was a fantastic young man and it was privilege to call him my friend, online and offline. Our thoughts and posts are with you all.
    ciderlass xx

  4. Lynne says:

    January 17th, 2010 at 10:30 pm

    Im deeply saddenned and immensley shocked by this tragic news. Jack was a wonderful person and a great friend. I regret that I had lost touch with him in thela st couple of years, but thougt of him often. I will always remember him his kindness and dry sarcastic sense of humour! My thoughts and prayers go to Jack’s mam, Tracey and the boys.

    Lynne xx

  5. Ian Cuddy says:

    January 17th, 2010 at 10:59 pm

    Words can’t really say how sorry and saddened I am about the loss of such a wonderful person. Jack will be greatly missed and just as greatly remembered. Hugs to you all.

    Ian x

    http://www.iancuddy.com/2010/01/17/jack-pickard-remembered/

  6. James Coltham says:

    January 17th, 2010 at 11:12 pm

    Terribly sad news. The numerous expressions of shock and sadness appearing across the web tonight are a testament to how highly he was regarded. Our thoughts are with you all.

  7. Andy Mabbett says:

    January 17th, 2010 at 11:12 pm

    The number of people paying tribute to Jack is a wonderful testament to the love we all felt for him: http://twitter.com/#search?q=%40ThePickards

    He would have laughed at the fact that I – sport-phobic – had to post this in response to one of his football posts.

  8. Mike Pickard says:

    January 18th, 2010 at 12:16 am

    I was going to leave a message of condolence here (as elsewhere), but thought perhaps the comments were moderated.
    I like to think they still are, and somewhere he’s filtering these messages.

    I’ll miss you a lot Jack, it’s taking a long time to sink in when your presence is everywhere I turn online.
    Let us know when you get your wifi sorted.
    :)
    xx

  9. Gill says:

    January 18th, 2010 at 1:35 am

    I’m completely and utterly stunned! Jack who on earth am I going to blog with now?

  10. Gary Miller says:

    January 18th, 2010 at 11:33 am

    Jack was a powerful and emotive wordsmith.

    He helped me enormously when starting out on the path to accessibility.

    I am going to miss being the target of his wonderfully dry wit.

    RIP Jack.

    My thoughts are with his family – both physical and extended.

    Gary

  11. Jon Gibbins says:

    January 18th, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    Jack was an absolute inspiration to us in the web accessibility community. I’m honoured to have met him, and to have had many an interesting discussion on Accessify Forum over the years.

    Good bye, Jack. We’ll miss you, your insight, and your humour.

  12. Marilyn Browne says:

    January 18th, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    Love to you Jack. You will be sadly missed – your encouragement has been an inspiration. My thoughts are with your family.

  13. Steve says:

    January 18th, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    I was always heartened by Jack’s witty and insightful writing. I will miss him greatly.

  14. Dan says:

    January 18th, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    Farewell my friend.

    Your kindness, wit and humanity will be greatly missed by everyone who knew you.

  15. Richard Conyard says:

    January 18th, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    Goodbye Jack, your infectious enthusiasm, fair mindedness and ever ready sense of humour will be sorely missed.

    Thoughts of course with your GLW and family.

  16. Ingrid Koehler says:

    January 18th, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    I really only knew him online (though we had met), but what a great person to know. An asset to our community.

    I’m very sorry to hear of your loss.

  17. Rich Pedley says:

    January 18th, 2010 at 6:52 pm

    Words will never describe how sorry I was to hear about his. Jack, you will be missed.

    My Thoughts go to Jack’s wife and family.

  18. Julie GRaham says:

    January 18th, 2010 at 7:48 pm

    Jack (my little cousin) you will never be forgotten love always xx

  19. sara says:

    January 18th, 2010 at 10:13 pm

    i knew jack from our youthful “ahem” past. we had some great times either partys at his house, over the bar when i was serving and he was drinking, or monday nights in newcastle, getting very drunk with the 80s night mob. (he always got up for work!)
    we had some great times, im sad to say we only recently got back in touch through the use of the internet.
    sad we never did make it for the pint to watch our mate’s band like we planned.
    a true gent who could always lift the spirits and make you smile.
    the world has lost soemthing special.
    rip jack

  20. Jack's Mam says:

    January 19th, 2010 at 10:54 am

    Thank you all for your wonderful messages- I knew Jack was so special to me but didn’t realise just how special he was to all his friends and colleagues. His funeral is on Fri 22nd Jan at St Mary’s Church, Whickham at 2.30pm then onwards to Saltwell Crem at 3.30pm and his second home, The Aletaster on Low Fell from about 4pm. All welcome.Any further details please contact jenp49-jp@yahoo.co.uk. Thanks again

  21. Gary Miller says:

    January 19th, 2010 at 11:15 am

    Jen,

    I think it’s fair to say that Jack reached out and touched literally hundreds of people through his many cyber-activities.

    Regrets that I can’t make the funeral.

    I’ll be visiting family in Gateshead in a month or so; I’ll be sure to drop into The Aletaster and have a pint or two for Jack.

  22. Jack's Mam says:

    January 19th, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    Please note there are two St Mary’s in Whickham. Funeral is at the C of E church St Mary the Virgin, Church Chare just off main road behind Olde Lang Jack pub.

  23. Mike Cherim says:

    January 19th, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    My deepest sympathies. A tragic loss of someone I considered a friend as well as colleague.

  24. Jeanne Spellman says:

    January 19th, 2010 at 4:21 pm

    While I never met him, I have been a regular reader of Jack’s for years. His passion and humor will be deeply missed. Reading his blog was always my treat to myself. He made a difference to people all over the world as an accessibility evangelist.

  25. Struan Robertson says:

    January 19th, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    What a terrible loss.

    I got to know Jack through his great work on web accessibility. He was one of a small group of people to inspire me and, I expect, many others in this field. I will miss him, his work, his support and his great sense of humour very much. My thoughts are with his family.

  26. Rachel says:

    January 19th, 2010 at 9:12 pm

    My deepest sympathies to Jack’s wife, family, and friends.

    I never met Jack, but for a long time now I’ve enjoyed reading Jack’s daily ponderings. The world of web accessibility has lost a great ambassador, and Jack’s kindness and enthusiasm has undoubtedly inspired many to improve their knowledge of the web and code, and Jack’s wonderful sense of humour has I don’t doubt brightened many a day.

    On a personal note I’ve lost probably about half my blog readership (not that it’s been very active of late). When I first linked to one of Jack’s blog posts here on The Pickards, I never expected a response. On a number of occasions Jack left comments on my blog, but also took the time to email me privately with words of encouragement.

    Jack was not only a great ambassador for web accessibility, and inspiration to many, but a thoughtful and kind man, and will be missed by many.

  27. Jack's Mam says:

    January 19th, 2010 at 10:05 pm

    I have been asked if there is a particular charity to which donations can be made in memory of Jack. After talking to Jack’s wife we thought it appropriate to nominate the Sir Bobby Robson Foundation- donations can be made online at http://www.justgiving.com/thesirbobbyrobsonfoundation.
    Thank you all. xx

  28. Jared Smith says:

    January 20th, 2010 at 2:49 am

    Jack will be sorely missed. Not only did he touch many of us through his writings and witty humor (I only met him once), but his contributions to the field of web accessibility can’t be measured. The lives of innumerable people with disabilities are better today because of Jack’s passion for making the web a better place.

  29. Mike Brockington says:

    January 20th, 2010 at 9:08 am

    My condolences to the entire family, Jack will be missed.

  30. sdcsmith2000 says:

    January 20th, 2010 at 6:22 pm

    Just to add my sympathies to Jack’s wife, family, and friends.

    Like many others I have enjoyed Jacks insightful and witty online musings for sometime – I had the pleasure of meeting him albeit briefly once, without doubt one of lifes true characters who will be missed by a great many people.

  31. Eat your greens! » Jack Pickard – a thoroughly decent chap says:

    January 20th, 2010 at 7:15 pm

    [...] was stunned to hear that Jack died last Saturday night. The comments on his last blog post, accessifyforum, and the reaction on twitter and facebook are a testament to the respect with which [...]

  32. James Corrigan says:

    January 20th, 2010 at 7:29 pm

    I am absolutely stunned. I last saw Jack in Manchester just over a year ago and we walked back to the hotel together after a fine meal out with the PSF crew.

    Although I have moved out of council web dev in the past couple of years and into a completely different world, I still regularly read Jack’s blogs and hoped to meet up with him again one day.

    He was an inspiration to the webby community and someone whose opinion I instinctively trusted. Such a generous, witty, thoughtful, passionate and ever-present man.

    I’m sadder than I can say to learn of Jack’s passing and if the sum of a person’s existence is his legacy, then Jack is surely one of the greatest men to have lived.

    My thoughts are with his family and those who saw him more regularly than I did. We will all carry around a Jack-shaped hole for a long time.

    James

  33. Simon Bostock says:

    January 20th, 2010 at 8:16 pm

    I knew Jack from school, so this news has come as shock, he was always good fun to drink with and I’ll miss seeing his twitter updates R.I.P. Jack.

    My love to his wife and children.

  34. mark says:

    January 21st, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    i’ve started up a tribute group on facebook, ‘jack pickard is a legend’ if anyone wants to add anything

  35. Jane & Paul Roberts-Morpeth says:

    January 21st, 2010 at 6:25 pm

    To Tracey and all of Jack’s Family,

    We are both so sad to hear of your loss. Jack was a truely lovely person, and I keep hearing that infectious laugh of his, I see him sat raising a glass last year at the Centurion, and as Paul said on Facebook, we just can’t believe we won’t see him again.

    Our thoughts and love are with you,

    Jane & Paul

  36. kiwibrit says:

    January 25th, 2010 at 9:19 am

    I learned about this sad event only today. I never met Jack personally, but as a member of the Accessify Forum, I always appreciated Jack’s honest opinion put in a friendly manner. The community is the poorer for his passing.

  37. Phelim & Graziella Cavlan says:

    January 27th, 2010 at 11:53 am

    I am so sorry. Even the separation of time and distance have not diminished the fond memories I have of Jack. A comic, a gent, sharp as a pin and an honour to have shared time with him as a colleague and friend.
    Rest in peace mate.
    Phelim & Graziella

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  43. Julie Howell says:

    March 6th, 2010 at 9:28 pm

    I’m sorry it’s taken me a while to write. Jack died shortly before my own father passed away (from cancer) and I’ve been ‘out of the loop’ for a while. Jack was surely the man for whom the term ‘diamond geezer’ was coined. I’ll miss his easy nature and his friendly banter, his energy and his dedication to both his family and his other passions (football and web standards). Til we meet again, my friend. Rest easy xx

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