Snarky’s Back

Yes, I’m back, and spitting out vitriol (’cos you shouldn’t really have it in your mouth in the first place).

Well, not exactly. It’s just that it’s been a busy christmas, so I thought I’d have a blog holiday, and I’ve been poorly too (culminating in the GLW getting me out of bed at around 11pm on December 31st so I could see the new year in, after I’d gone for a lie down some time earlier…

So I’ve been away from the world of blogs; I’ve got a lot of reading to catch up on, and quite frighteningly an awful lot of spam. Over 1100 spam comments. Sheesh.

So as it’s been quite some time since I tried to extricate anything funny out of them, I thought I’d have another go. Contents below the ‘read more’ may therefore contain sweary language, sexual references and all that sort of buggeration. Oh, and happy new year.

The flies they gather around me…Spammer ‘B’

Yeah, well, they would, wouldn’t they? They are probably circle flies.

The next one seemed — in the series of a long list of pornographic-sounding links — to have suddenly gone a bit Edward Lear

Cat Owl PussySpammer ‘R’

And then I was asked a rather straightforward question…

Looking for rough gay sex?Spammer ‘P’

Er… I’ll pass on that one, thanks.

I really liked you blog post! I searched all over to finally find something that made sense! Would you mind terribly if I place a link back from my site at…Spammer ‘D’

You really liked me blog post? It’s funny, but that following sentence seems to imply that you thought the rest of the site made no sense whatsoever, so it kind of takes some of the gloss off the comment, though. Of course, feel free to link to my site. For two reasons: firstly, link love is nice, and secondly I don’t feel that I have any right — nor is there any point — trying to prohibit people linking to you. But I’ll not be linking back, ‘cos you’re a dirty rotten spammer, no offence.

Christain paintball scenariosSpammer ‘F’

I presume that’s supposed to be Christian paintball scenarios, but really, what is that about? Paintball is just a bunch of kids (some over 40) getting dressed up and shooting paint at one another. I didn’t see it as being something that was particularly satanic unless you had the right scenario…

meiosis and mitosisSpammer ‘C’

Look — a biology reference. It’s to do with cell division. Let’s see if I can remember it without needing to look it up. I believe meiosis is the one where the gametes in the cell line up to form a haploid pair for sexual reproduction, and mitosis therefore is the one which produces identical diploid offspring (in effect ‘cloned’ cells). There you go. I knew that biology degree would come in useful eventually.

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