Velociraptor Survival
From Steve. Apparently I could survive for one minute and thirteen seconds if chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor. I’m not really sure how this helps. After all, after those seventy-three seconds, I’d be just as dead as I would have been if it had bit my head off in the opening second.
I suspect that the quiz might have had me living longer if I’d fought back a little more, but as one of the questions asked you what you would do after it’s bitten your arm off, I think anyone going for one of the ‘fight it off with the lost limb’ type answers is possibly being a little optimistic about how well you could cope after a dinosaur has just bitten your arm off.
In practice, my initial plan would obviously be don’t get chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor, although I would have a contingency plan in the unlikely event that my first place failed: I would simply avoid the fight in the first place by letting the velociraptor pick whether it wanted the top or bottom bunk.
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Never go out with a dinosaur. That’s my tactic. Sure they’re all big and cute and brimming with reptilian charm, but they’re a kinky bunch. You go back for coffee and the next thing you know, you’re chained to the bed with a velociraptor, you’re dressed up like a triceratops or you’re being asked to spank a terradactyl.