A Fortean Grab-Bag

Thursday, May 21, 2009 7:20 | Filed in Faith & Forteana

Here’s a selection of the weird and wonderful news from around the world, as found on the Fortean Times Breaking News section. Always worth a visit, if it is about bloody time they got themselves on Twitter…

Dallas Couple find Cheeto image of Jesus
No, seriously, and they’ve even called it “Cheesus”. Well, you would, wouldn’t you? It would appear however that her religion tends more towards the great Mammon than Christianity since she plans to sell the Cheeto on ebay. What would Cheesus do?
US Teenager in thwarted holdup eats imitation firearm
The imitation firearm in this case being a banana which was concealed under his t-shirt.
Franco has only got one ball
Despite the general anti-nazi stanza…

Hitler has only got one ball,
Göring has two but very small,
Himmler is somewhat sim’lar,
But poor Goebbels has no balls at all.Wikipedia: Hitler has only got one ball

… and the confusion over whether or not Hitler was monorchic, it would appear that General Franco was in that category too. I’m beginning to wonder whether having more than one testicle is sufficient to disqualify someone from being a fascist leader…

Atheist offers to pass on messages to friends/relatives of those taken by the Rapture
Makes sense. If he’s right, people will have wasted $8. If he’s wrong, he’ll have to spend his last days on earth battling plagues and running around trying to deliver letters, presumably thinking “whoops”. Seems fair to me.
Raindrops fall faster than the terminal velocity of raindrops
Er… sounds weird — my initial reaction was “surely this just means they miscalculated the actual terminal velocity?” — but on reading the story it makes sense. Basically, bigger raindrops have a faster terminal velocity than smaller ones. But if big raindrops fragment into smaller ones on the way down, they will initially be going faster than the terminal velocity for their size, until braking forces reach equilibrium with gravitational ones…
BBC journalist takes photo of ghost
… a ghost, that is, which appears to be wearing blue jeans. Which presumably mean that it would therefore be a ghost from the last 40 years or so. Or possibly the fact that the colour of the jeans in the open doorway is exactly the same colour as the paint on either side of the door could mean that it’s simply some sort of atmospheric/light effect as, apart from the ‘jeans’ part of it, nothing else looks even remotely humanoid, oh, and it’s smack-dab in the middle of a big pool of light. But of course if the cameraman doesn’t think it was a trick of the light, then it must be a ghost, eh kids?
Komodo Dragons have venom glands
…which seemingly no-one had actually noticed before.
Strong, as yet unexplained laser signal detected by SETI
Que Sera, Sera,
D’you think it’s E.T., SETI?
The future’s not ours to see
Que Sera, Sera
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3 Comments to A Fortean Grab-Bag

  1. Andy says:

    May 21st, 2009 at 9:09 am

    They are on Twitter:


    Since about mid-March by the look of it.

  2. JackP says:

    May 21st, 2009 at 2:31 pm

    Ah, cheers for that. They weren’t on there last time I looked – which I have to admit I thought was a lot more recent than that!

    Although that might be because I would have expected that if you search for ‘fortean times’ on twitter, you’d find them in the first page or three of the results, if they actually existed…

    …although that assumption is obviously wrong!

  3. Christophe says:

    May 23rd, 2009 at 3:14 pm

    “Hitler has only got one …”

    The version I heard on BBC Radio 4 (roughly ten years ago) went as follows:

    Hitler has only got one ball,
    the other is in the Albert Hall,
    Himmler is something sim’lar,
    but poor old Goebbels has no balls at all.

    I didn’t know there were so many versions.

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