As you may or may not be aware, the Lindisfarne Gospels are housed in the British Museum in London. They were taken from the island of Lindisfarne, where there were first created in latin in around 700AD. They were then wrenched away from they home and forcibly transported against their will by their evil British Museum to the bowels of hell, or London as it’s sometimes known.

It’s time to bring them home to the North East (and particularly to Lindisfarne – the clue is in the name you see), and despite being a bunch of drink-crazed belligerent Northerners, rather than just go down there and fight everyone, before bringing them back, we’re actually prepared to try and get them back by organising petitions and the like.

So go on, sign the petition.

If you’re a northerner, you know it’s the right thing to do. If you’re a southerner, it may be the only way to prevent hordes of drink-crazed belligerent Geordies covered in coal dust descending upon your region and demanding that you show them where they can have a "canny bevvy", before vomiting down your trousers or something.