Brits Abroad
It would appear that British Embassies abroad have been complaining about the problems people are bringing to them…
British embassies around the world are getting “frustrated” by travellers wanting weather reports and advice on how to deal with unruly children. Consular staff have also been asked to help make jam, pack suitcases and find lost sunglasses. [...] Other inquiries include:
- A mother asked the consulate in Florida to help her teenage son pack his case and give him a lift to the airport as he was feeling under the weather.
- A traveller wanted the high commission in Zambia to phone his workplace to explain he would not be in because he was unable to get a flight.
- A holidaymaker visiting Italy wondered where they could purchase a particular pair of shoes.
- One caller asked: “I’m making jam – what ratio of fruit to sugar shall I use?”
Tcch. You’d think they’d be grateful. After all, it’s presumably less hassle for them to look up the fruit:sugar ratio in jam then it is do deal with someone in jail in Laos who has been caught with 1.5 pounds of heroin in their suitcase. But no, the British Embassies don’t seem to view it that way…
So if you’re abroad and you want the British Embassy to find out the sugar/jam ratio, or tell your boss that you’ve missed your flight, make sure you’ve lost your passport, been mugged, had an accident and possibly been arrested. Then they can help you, and you can ask them your jam question at the same time.
[For those idiots out there who actually do this sort of thing, this is not real advice, it's sarcastic spoof advice. You may need to look those words up.]
IngridK says:
August 26th, 2009 at 7:55 am
The best store bought jams seem to have just over half fruit. I’m guessing you could probably get up to just under 60% fruit before you start to lose out on the preservation qualities of the sugar.
In the US, there is a service that will answer this question for you (or at least would when I was a child) – the agricultural extension service. But it’s not offered through embassies or consulates.
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