Now Wash Your Hands

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 15:30 | Filed in Life, Oddities

I went to the lavatory the other day. That isn’t particularly noteworthy in itself: I would suspect that in this wonderful world of ours, every day, billions of people go to the toilet. Indeed, if were were to assume that someone spends on average five minutes in the toilet per day, and these visits are evenly split across a 24-hour period, then there will be 23.5 million people going to the toilet right now.

Not that this was what I was going to talk about. No: I went to the toilets in the building of a public organisation, I saw something interesting in there and decided to take a photograph of it. Before you start coming over all Frankie Howerd (no, no, missus, no… ) on me, I’ll point out that obviously I wasn’t taking a photo of anyone in there — indeed, if there had been anyone in there, I really don’t think I’d have got my camera out.

What I saw was hand washing instructions. Now I don’t know about you, but I’ve been working on the assumption that anyone who has managed to reach adulthood successfully will, in that time, have learned to wash your hands.

It’s really quite simple, as far as I’m concerned.

  1. Get your hands nice and soapy
  2. Rub them together vigorously, ensuring that every surface has had soap rubbed over it
  3. Rinse thoroughly under the tap
  4. Discover that there are no paper towels, and the hand dryer isn’t working, so dry your hands on the back of your trousers

Not much to it, really. So I was surprised to find that this organisation seems to believe that some people actually need instructions, and that it’s obviously a lot more complicated than I thought, even if the poster still suggests it can tell us how to wash our hands in six simple steps.

Hand Washing Instructions (flickr)

  1. Palm to palm
  2. Right palm over back of left hand, then left palm over back of right hand
  3. Palm to palm, fingers interlocked
  4. Backs of fingers to opposing palm with fingers interlocked
  5. Rotationally rub right thumb clasped in left palm and vice versa with left thumb
  6. Using circular motion, rub finger tips into palm of other hand and likewise to other palm

There are a few problems with these instructions. Firstly, someone who hasn’t learned how to wash their hands is unlikely to stop and read these instructions. Secondly, the actions sound like they could be taken from a film — possibly a martial arts film:

Right palm over back of left hand (“wax on”)
then left palm over back of right hand (“wax off”)I’m sure this is what Mr. Miyagi meant

But even more than a martial arts film, these instructions sound like they have been taken from instructions from self assembly furniture:

Rotationally rub right thumb clasped in left palm until locking nut is engaged, and vice versa with left thumb. Next, take plank A…Self assembly handwash

Then of course there’s the fact that I don’t think anything which uses the phrase “Rotationally rub right thumb clasped in left palm” should also be using the phrase “simple steps” without any awareness of irony…

But the main reason that I object to this ‘six simple steps to washing your hands’ is that the fabled six steps don’t actually mention anything about using soap, rinsing the soap off, or drying your hands in the six steps. Indeed, actually rinsing and drying your hands is not mentioned at all, and the whole “using soap and water” bit has been tacked on at the front almost as an afterthought…

oh, by the way, you might want to wet your hands with warm water and add soap first…

So it’s not six steps (assuming you want to get the soap on, do the rubby hands bit, then rinse off and dry, that is at least nine steps), they aren’t all simple, if you can’t wash your hands properly by the time you are an adult, you’re not likely to take much notice of a poster put up in the loos, but hey, at least the person who put the poster up can feel satisfied that they have done their bit to prevent swine flu…

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45 Comments to Now Wash Your Hands

  1. Darren Taylor says:

    July 15th, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    I lost the will after step 2, talk about overcomplicating a simple process!!

  2. Kerri Simpson says:

    July 15th, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    It should have also said, “On exiting the lavatory, hope that the other people who’ve used the door handle have washed THEIR hands…”

    I tend to carry a small bottle of anti-baterial handwash for that reason (I used to work in a Microbiology lab and once swabbed the outer toilet door – not pretty).

  3. Andy says:

    July 16th, 2009 at 11:23 am

    Although it’s very easy to make fun of the poster, the message that it carries is incredibly important – especially in light of the current Swine Flu outbreak where no body really knows what will happen next and with the prevalence of hospital acquired infections (MRSA etc)

    As far as I am aware, the guide has come from the health service who found that many doctors and nurses did not know how to effectively wash their hands and so the guide was produced, based on the way that surgeons “scrub up” before an operation.

    We would all do well to take heed of its message. After all, someone reading and acting on the poster could make the difference between life and death.

    Oh, and I am not a healthcare professional, nor am I associated with the profession in any way other than as an occasional patient.

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